Love Message From:    Anonymous
Age & Location:
Love Message To:    Tyler
Age & Location:    23
Your Message:

Why is that I can’t get you out of my mind? I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you… how good you look when you smile, how much I love your laugh. I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did… I’ve memorized your face and the way you look at me… I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine… I wonder what will happen the next time we are together (I’m not even sure at all if there’s going to be next time), but I know one thing for sure, you are the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time..

When you were here I know I kind of distanced myself from knowing you on a much deeper level..like how I’ d rather listen to your stories than ask.. because I was scared. I was so damn scared that you’ll end up being everything I ever wanted. I know it seems confusing, but I just don’t want to get hurt. I never even asked or mentioned anything about “us” (if there’s even such a thing).. Because again, I was scared we’ll ruin it– that feeling I get whenever I see you, the way you send butterflies to my stomach, the way I melt when you look at me, and the way my heart aches when I know that at any time you will have to leave.. I don’t want it to go away.. and I guess right now that was my biggest regret. I left myself hanging when I could’ve just talked to you about it, sparing myself from getting hurt.. and now the feeling kept inside me is overflowing.. I like you so much it scares me. I’ve never felt this way with anyone else. An hour after we parted I still felt your kisses. I still felt your embrace. And your fingers intertwined in mine. I’ve never been this scared. But with you, you scare me, with your beautiful blue eyes and your sweet boyish smile– I’m so scared that I will want to love you forever, and you will want me only for a few moments in your life.

I know it’s so overwhelming- me telling you all this. Screw the embarrassment. I don’t care anymore. It’s killing me. I’ve always thought that as long as “we can see the same sky, breathe the same air, step on the same planet, then you and I are not impossible.” But I was wrong. How can it be when we have no idea if we are still in the same page? I’ve tried to ask you but we still weren’t able to figure it out..or maybe I already got my answer I was just so foolish not to realize.

Now I don’t know where this relationship is going. I don’t know what kind of relationship we have. I may have given it all and I don’t want you to think that I would just do ‘that’ with anyone. I did that because it felt right and I felt I was with the right person at the right time- I knew you were something special. The thing is I knew I was already falling, but for the first time in my life I didn’t have to expect anything in return–I started to live just for the moment. In those 2 weeks I spent with you, you made me feel alive.. I was filled with sheer bliss and happiness that if I could just pause that moment or press the repeat all button, I would.

This is going to be hard, admitting all my feelings for you. But I know it’s going to be way harder to pretend that I’m ok standing in a gray area. I probably will love you for a very long time. But I can’t just be your buddy because as much as I enjoy the concept of being “just friends” in reality it’s a bizarre form of torture and I’m just not willing to participate. So right now, what I want to do is tell you everything and just move on, and get over you and I think the only way for me to do that is to avoid you.. But I know one thing…. I would not take back any single thing. Everything that has happened between us happened for a reason.