Love Message From:    Valkyrie Ireness
Age & Location:    18 – In the lost world of mine
Love Message To:    Dear best friend whom i loved so but lost
Age & Location:    19 – The opposite world of mine
Your Message:

Hello,

I know, how silly it is, to write something here. It’s so girlish, childish and stupid. I don’t know what i will accomplish, but i want to let go of my feelings and memories…

I immediately liked you when we met. You were special, unique and someone i always wanted to be friends with.
I remember how we first met, just as if it was yesterday. You kind of became my friend once we met, it was magical.

I loved your silly jokes, your cheerful being, and yet how you were always so caring.
Remember when we used to be in this very special place in that online game? We used to talk and enjoy the time we’ve spent there together.

You became my best friend, and to be honest, the very best of all. I was always filled with happiness when you came online to talk to me and then play too.

Ah, so many wonderful memories…

But then, my laptop crashed, and we started texting, no matter how much it cost. I remember i used to send you around 10~20 SMS per day xD Man that was expensive!

But….

That’s how i fell for you as well. I never felt anything like it, and when you said “It’s been so long that i’ve felt any of this”, i knew, that we were getting so close. But we shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry…

Soon you admit to me, that you too, had feelings for me, but we should keep it down. Sadly we didn’t.

But, i won’t complain. I felt great, i felt awesome, i felt loved, i was.. ALIVE.
I always lived with the thoughts about my horrible life, but when you came and gave me this feeling, i let that all of that behind and just felt happiness.
I was so happy, so very happy, i still smile even now thinking back.

Ah, i still remember this one night. You wanted to see my face so badly, you always gave comments what i did: fixing my hair, smiling, going a bit away and you cried out like a child to come nearer because you couldn’t see my face in the dark, haha.

I remember this other night aswell, but this one was much more painful, i wish i never did it…

I remember the sound of the places you’ve been when you called me when you went with the dog for a walk or headed to the driving lessons.
I remember your “yay” oh i loved it so, i always said “aw, yay!” afterwards.

I remember when we first talked on phone….
Was it, early morning? 5am+? Heh.

I remember your morning groans and moans and how tired you were. It was so cute, so sweet and adorable.
I was so shy, i couldn’t talk much, mostly blushing. Ah, those feelings were great, so sweet, so warm that i always melted like ice. It made me go through the day with a shine and self-confidence.

I could never believe that a girl, unimportant in the world as i was, to be loved by this awesome person you are? This handsome guy who’s smiles were so charming?
I was s amazed, the thought of it, made me feel so special.

It was like a movie, no, it was like a perfect love story to me.

I still remember how you played the guitar, this wonderful sound. Heh, you used your toe to click with the mouse to record? That was some crazy random lovely shit, really

I don’t regret these days, even if they were wrong. I know you also loved someone else, i know i always said “i don’t mind”, i really didn’t, but…

Deep inside of me was this selfish child. This child wanted to do “everything” to have you completely, even if just fro a moment.

I went past my limits. THAT i do regret…

Soon things happened, i got depressed.
My depression made you let go of me, made you distance yourself. We said to be best friends, but eventually…
Even this tight friendship tore apart.

It crushed my life, i stopped studying, i stopped smiling, i stopped being strong, i stopped living entirely. I hurt the person i loved so, whom i always wanted to be with, if friend or lover, i didn’t care…
I hurt the person i said i would kill myself if i did. Well, i actually did, mentally.

Now i’m nothing but a mere used battery. I relied on you to pull me up, but you released me, and i was too weak, no, too scared to live in a world without you, that i let myself fall into the darkness.

Now i made you hate me, get annoyed of me.

Sorry, i never meant to.
I love you, a part of me always will.

Do you know what i’m listening to as i write this? A song you named “Ireness”…

Sayonara…
Be happy with your girlfriend. I know i have become nothing more than dust in your sight.

But… Even if i let go, a part of me will always want you back, as best friend, like how it all started.
Lovely and peaceful days with you and me smiling…

But the biggest burden in our friendship was, that we were so apart from each other. North Scandinavia is so far away from western Europe, eh?

If i could hug you now, i would.

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