From: Anonymous
To: Jude

After so much time you would think that I would be “past” everything, and I thought I was actually, but nope! of course you have to once again come back into my mind and my heart and make me wonder…

The first time you “broke my heart” I didn’t think things would ever return to normal. Then, you ended up being the one to mend it and make it better than ever before a year later.

I love you, in the present tense, not the past. I have come to realize that. To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides, and that, I have experienced thanks to you.

A few months back I had my total “moving on” moment and realized that I should, indeed, move on. It wasn’t until yesterday that I was talking about you to a new friend and about good times we had and how you made me feel that I realized that I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t think it would be right for me to “move on” to other guys when I would choose you over any of them. I know I am not at an age when this really “matters” but still, I do not want to cheat my emotions.

Therefore I have come to the conclusion that the only things I can be certain of are:
-I love you
-at one point in time, you loved me
-there is no such thing as love unreturned, the love we give away is the only love we keep
-i hope, so desperately, that we can talk one day, just that you would answer the phone when i call, or that once more before our lives end we can talk if only for a moment.

this sounds so pathetic and dramatic typing it out, but its quite simple really, just, i dont know. you are so great and i miss talking with you, you know? i dont necessarily want to be “with” you i just want to be your friend.
this just made me feel really weird. i dont know!